Perfect Utensil - Home of the band "Spork" : Contact Spork

Spork talks back!!

You've got something to say - we've got to make fun of it.

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posted by Jennifer Bosch on May-16-2003 at 09:09 PM

How may we obtain some more quality Spork music without having to wait hours upon end for the few songs you have on your site to download?
Also, I'm jealous of your band name. I was planning on naming my band (if ever it was made) Spork. Sporks are the best utensil in the world! I've been a fan of them for quite a while now. You should see my collection! My mom keeps one in her car, along with the gloves in the glove box. I've even made a sorry sort of Avidgamers RPG with the main character a clinically insane spork named Bob!
Big fan,
Reisei (who is currently jacking her mum's e mail account/ name 'cause she feels like it)

Attn: Reisei's mum...
reply posted on Sep-16-2003 at 09:54 PM

Did you know your daughter was "jacking" your e-mail account? And more importantly, because she "feels like it?"

I'd be very concerned if she wasn't doing it for some useful purpose such as e-mailing us.

Anyway, can you please pass on our response to her questions/comments, and also apologize for the lateness of our reply. We had some technical difficulties.

Dear Reisei,

Sorry we're so late getting back to you, but here are the answers to your questions:

1) You can obtain more quality Spork music by mailing large amounts of cash to us which we can then use to record and master more music, which we can then upload to our site. You can obtain it faster by also sending large amounts of cash to your local cable company so they can set you up with a cable modem.

2) ...well actually you didn't ask any other questions.

But, we've heard from other bands who said they were jealous of our name, and all I can say to that is don't playa' hate.

We'd love to see your collection of sporks. Any chance you could send us a photo of your collection? We could post it on the site.

And we'd definitely love to see this RPG with a clinically insane spork named Bob! That's incredible. In fact, you're almost too cool to be wasting your time e-mailing us losers...I said almost.

As for jacking your mum's account, I think we may have let the cat out of the bag on that one. So, be careful.

Thanks for writing,

Spork