Perfect Utensil - Home of the band "Spork" : Contact Spork

Spork talks back!!

You've got something to say - we've got to make fun of it.

A Sporker sighting???
posted by Dave on Feb-17-2004 at 04:14 PM

A few months ago, I was on the DC subway when low and behold I spotted the ever elusive (and reclusive) lead guitarist Nate standing there in the same traincar as I minding his own business.

Well, in actuality I think he was totally macking on some brunette chick, but I thought, "Hey, when's the next time I get to cock-block a member of Spork?"

And so I did. It turned out that the person identified as Nate denied any knowledge of knowing me and proceeded to tell me something about Max Payne 2. Perhaps this was a keen attempt at dismissing me and getting back to his original intention of totally scoring. I'm not exactly sure what transpired after that, but "Nate" departed the train as quickly as he could.

Maybe he had to transfer to another line, maybe he was just p.o.'ed about me cutting in on some hot fangirl lovin'. The world may never know.

I wouldn't have felt so bad after this albeit brief and uneventful encounter with stardom, but it turns out the chick he was macking on turned out to be Monica Lewinsky.

The Sporker's loss was my gain. When I told her -I- was Nate from the multi-aluminum selling band called Spork I totally scored.

Thanks Dr. Nate!

DC Metro-ing Nate
reply posted on Feb-21-2004 at 12:51 PM

It's true! Nate is a DC metro-ing foo'!

And you're right, when Dr. Nate wants to avoid fans, he tends to bring up video games and Max Payne 2 happens to be one of his favorite distractors. You see, when a fan hears how much Dr. Nate enjoys diving through hallways (especially subways!) and mowing down bad guys (and the more than occasional innocent bystander) with shotguns they tend to become a little less interested in talking to their hero.

In this case, Dr. Nate wasn't attempting to pick up Miss Lewinsky, but he was trying to get her to make a cameo in the next (and first) Spork video. Thanks to you, dear fan, we have decided to NOT make videos. Oh, and Dr. Nate did make a transfer.

Spork would also like to take this opportunity to ask all loyal DC Spork fans to ride the metro as an upswing in the metro user base would hopefully decrease the fair and parking rate hikes they are planning in the next few months.

Thanks for writing,

Spork