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Spork talks back!!

You've got something to say - we've got to make fun of it.

Locked out of Spork Studios.
posted by Dave on Mar-29-2004 at 01:57 PM

Alas, this past Saturday when I went to hear Spork lay down some new tracks, I found out that I was locked out of the exclusive Spork Studios!

"This an outrage!", I said to my fiancee as I tried to fight off the mass of congregated Spork fans holding a candlelight vigil outside of the sprawling Spork Studios enclave. Hoardes of teeny-boppers (and their Moms) were chanting,

"POGO! POGO! POGO!"

As I wrestled my way to the front doors, a man addressing himself only as "Biff" first kindly, then curtly told me that "No one was allowed in" to see the almighty Spork record their (no doubt) future multi-frankincence (or possibly murrh) award winning single.

Biff was unyielding, even after I mentioned I went to college with the entire band and the fact that I talk to the drummer on a nearly daily basis.

"Sure, yeah right buddy...you and everyone else..." said Biff, as he graciously kicked me to curb.

He then told me to, "Go away and pick up sticks!"

I'm not sure what that meant, but I knew it was time to leave.

A fanciful yarn
reply posted on Apr-01-2004 at 03:50 PM

Well, the inaccuracies in your "story" here, Dave (if that is your real name), are quite glaring. Starting with the fact that you went to college and leading up to you having a fiancee.

But let's just assume for a moment that those items are true, why would Biff allow you to even ask about getting past him when we'd expressly instructed him to shoot interlopers on sight?

And furthermore, the chances of teeny-boppers chanting "POGO" are slim-to-none considering Pogo was released in 1996, when teeny-boppers would have been 8, maybe 9 years old, and unable to truly appreciate the considerably witty and poignant lyrics of the song.

Sure, their Moms would be chanting, but the teeny-boppers themselves? Come now, Dave.

And finally, no one talks to Adam "on a nearly daily basis." Except for Diesel, Gurgi and, of course, the voices...they never stop talking...

Thanks for writing,

Spork