Perfect Utensil - Home of the band "Spork" : Contact Spork

Spork talks back!!

You've got something to say - we've got to make fun of it.

Sprucin' it up
posted by Foxy Vandenburg on Jun-22-2004 at 12:45 AM

I have been a loyal Spork fan for years now. As I was cruising around the site to look for updates, etc, I came up with a few ideas for "sprucing things up a bit:"
How about some photos of the band? What happened to that hot band photographer you guys had? Why didn't you ever use any of the shots she gave to Blaise on CD that he lost and then denied having ever received?
Oh, and also, I think it'd be nice if you got some celebrity endorsements from someone like Bruce Willis or the Sprint Phone Guy that wears that trenchcoat.
Maybe you could also give away free stuff like chocolate bars or something to the loyal fans. Ok, that's all I have got for you right now. I'll let you know if I come up with anything else.
Keep on Sporkin'!
Foxy V.
PS. Maybe the band members could have a mullet growing contest.... now, that would create some interest....

Pretty pictures
reply posted on Jun-29-2004 at 05:25 PM

With the launch of the new Perfect Utensil in late 2004, there will likely be band photos a-plenty available online. Who might take those photos is still up in the air, as Spork auditions photographers, painters and color-by-number artists for the official job.

As far as the shots this supposed photographer gave us, last we heard they were on a CD sitting in a desk drawer somewhere gathering dust. And no matter how many times we asked for them, the photographer kept complaining that she had already offered them and wasn't going to "go through that again."

Which apparently referred to the hardship of either opening the desk drawer, or manuevering the papers that likely now cover the CD.

So, the official photographer job is still open, and any and all auditions are welcomed.

As for celebrity endorsements, it's ironic that you asked because I just today received this e-mail:

You guys are doing a great job. Keep it up. Sorry about Hudson Hawk.

Bruce Willis

And then this e-mail:

Don't give away chocolate bars or have a mullet contest. I would hate that.

Sprint Phone Guy that Wears the Trenchcoat

Ok, thanks for writing and your loyal support!

Blaise from Spork