Theories of ownership
reply posted on Jan-18-2005 at 05:41 PM

I agree with the overarching theory inherent in your e-mail -- that we should own any and all websites that mention, revolve around or incorporate the word "SPORK" or the letters therein.

However, there are two problems with your hypothesis:

1. Owning website domain names costs money. For some reason, we are expected to follow the laws of capitalism and pay for goods and services. Ridiculous really, and since we don't have this money, we are stuck scrimping and saving to pay for our one domain name. And I'm not even sure what scrimping entails.

2. Applying the domain www.sporkrocks.com to us would be a bit of a misnomer. Since we don't ever play outside of the townhouse at 5730 Flagflower Place, it can hardly be verified that we rock. www.sporkstagnates.com or www.sporkweighsoptions.com would be more appropriate.

In addition, several features of www.sporkrocks.com don't make any sense for us. What need have we of a "setlist" or "booking info" section? And where exactly would we include the recipe for Love Juice?

So, you see my thin free-thinker from Canada, it is probably best we just keep our current URL and leave the rockin' to our doppelgangers...assuming of course that the members of Spork-Midwest are made up of ghostly apparitions haunting their fleshy counterparts.

Thanks for writing,

Blaise from Spork