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Spork talks back!!

You've got something to say - we've got to make fun of it.

Lay off of your fans!!
posted by Lars on Apr-07-2005 at 10:54 PM

Dear Blaise,
I'm writing to tell you that I don't care for your tone in response to; let's call her..."Melissa." There she was, sitting in class not paying attention at all, and she stumbles across this website and all you can do is put her down. It just so happens that my girlfriends name is Melissa. So, as you would guess, I took offense. "Don't presume to tell me how to follow up. I found the cure for cancer and now I've lost it." (Ask Nate) Where was I? Oh yes, your right jab in the eye of poor Melissa. What does a person of my wisdom really care of such an issue you ask? Hmmmmm? The whole point here is that Spork has not played a gig since Michael Jackson was a man. Sleep on that one hard tonight Blaise. Game, Set, Match. Dunn

Fans schmans
reply posted on Apr-11-2005 at 03:42 PM

First off, your whole premise is called into question after the statement, "my girlfriend's name is Melissa." Not only is it hard to believe you actually have a girlfriend, but if you did have one, her name would be Brenda.

Second, no one (not even Nate) that I've spoken to has any idea what that quote regarding the cure for cancer means? I can only guess it's from the Sean Connery classic Medicine Man, where Connery attempts to protect the rainforest from development in order to save a plant that cures cancer somehow. When placed in this context, it makes even less sense.

Third, it is true that Spork has not played an official gig in quite some time, but that is purely by choice. We have chosen to remain a highly-specialized, elite playing force. Many times we play gigs without anyone knowing we were even there. But subliminally, people are getting hooked. Big time.

Fourth, our music stands for itself without ever having to be played. We believe that playing gigs, and recording too much music, and updating web sites too often are sure signs of musical egotism. And certainly there's enough ego to go around in the music biz. Just look at the proliferation of bands named after one of the members: The Dave Matthews Band, The Pat McGee Band, The Avett Brothers...I've even heard that some new local bands are resorting to this lame tactic in order to boost their self-esteem.

It should be about the music, not the lead singer! Until it's time to meet the sweet, sweet ladies...then it should be about the lead singer.

Thanks for writing,

Blaise from Spork