Papa's got a brand new Spork in his bag
posted by blaise on Jun-25-2004 at 02:31 PM
Late Monday night, the 4 Sporkers, who have been with the band since its inception nearly 10 years ago, sat and watched an elderly Elvis impersonator and black John F. Kennedy Jr. battle an ancient mummy stealing souls at a nursing home.
But 2 hours earlier, those same band members had been discussing the future of the world's most popular utensil band.
And the future looks bright...or at least slightly distorted. The band discussed everything from which elvish fonts look most realistic to the mysterious whereabouts of Nate's e-mail address book. And here's what they came up with by the time the meeting was ajourned:
1) Merch - Ever wondered how you can support a band that almost never plays? Why, by wearing their t-shirts! People love merchandise. And people love merchandise with sporks on it even more. So, start saving up now because the goods are coming. And coming hard.
2) Site - Tired of those crusty, old right-hand mouse-over buttons? Disgusted with the not-so-fun "Fun with Sporks" section? Frustrated with your inability to advance beyond the Pussywillow level?
A new www.perfectutensil.com is coming. Fully redesigned with new features, more interaction and even less tour information! The new site will be rolled out gradually over the next 6 hours...what...oh right, sorry Nate...6 months. Look for the first big changes in only 2 weeks...we guarantee it!*
3) Music - Wondering when the next hit single from Spork will be available? Well, that's a trick question, since Spork has never had a hit single. But the band is still all about the music, and they hope to lay down some new tracks over the next few months, with a new album targeted for release this August. But that doesn't mean you'll have to wait until summer to hear new songs. Or old songs for that matter. More music is coming.
4) Pizza - Banana pepper and sausage pizza is actually very good. Don't dismiss it off-hand as Blaise is wont to do, because you'll end up eating those words with the pizza.
5) Kevin Costner - He really, really makes us laugh.
Are you ready for the musical evolution? Well, it's coming ready or not. A whole new Spork is just around the corner...